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A journal of my various spiritual & relationship learning experiences...

Saturday, October 15, 2005

On Meditation... 

I just realized that for most of my life I've been 'into' meditation. And while I practiced alot of different techniques, it's taken me to this point of time when I finally got it, at least on demand, mostly.

Growing up, I read about meditation and I was strongly attracted to the subject, but without a teacher or any peers who had similar interests, or any internet where information was just a few keystrokes away - I was mostly on my own. Eventually when I came to St. Louis, and started playing with my new Nova Pro mind machine that I bought myself before graduation from my MSEE program, I started to achieve some deep states of conscious unconsciousness. I remember having a transcendent experience after a 45 minute "mind awake, body asleep" program while laying on my living room floor, listening to the sound of dual binaural beats soothe my consciousness into unity states. The best feeling usually comes right after the program finishes when your visual field gets filled with thousands of tiny green & blue dots against a black background. As the field diminished, what's left in it's place was all-knowingness. It can't really be explained, but I had a brief glimpse of what it felt like to know everything, to be connected to the universe, to be in the universe, to be. Amazing stuff. A cool side effect was that my body was asleep, for I couldn't life my arms or legs unless I tried really hard. For most I imagine it would be a scary experience to not be able to move, but for me it was quite fascinating.

Achieving these states without technology is a bit harder, at first. My next relatively easy meditation was more of a physical one that came out of my taiji experiences. I diligently practiced Qigong in class and out. Eventually when I started feeling the heat, the vibration, and the magnetic forces between my hands I was hooked. I've developed this talent to the point that I can move energy around my body at will, and have played with some of the ideas from Astral Dynamics like "splitting consciousness" where you can simultaneously feel 2 body parts, energetically. Neat stuff.

Anyway, I just realized that for the past couple of months I've been getting much better at calming my mind almost at will... dropping down into a state of unattachment from body and environment, just by moving my mind aside. I've also gotten good at finding the nothingness between breaths. Seemingly far out and esoteric, this stuff really works and it just takes alot of practice. Try to make a point to practice every time you feel bored, or instead of listening to the radio on the way to work - practice some simple awareness exercises, chant some sacred mantras (i.e. Om). Clear the mind instead of watching TV. There are many opportunities. Think of it as playing & experimenting and you'll do it often and eventually you'll move past the hurdles.
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