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A journal of my various spiritual & relationship learning experiences...
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Deep Consciousness Shifts...
Deep Consciousness Shifts...
Tonight I had some very deep discussions with Alex, very provacative & disturbing (just to my ego). I normally log this type of stuff to my Palm, but since it's dead, this is the 2nd best place.
So, her 1st gripe was that I have big problem of 'cheapening' others' interests. If someone is speaking about something they like or they do, I tend to chime in with "I would love to do something like that", or "I'd like to do that sometime" followed by some minor uncomfortableness and ending with a final lull in the conversation.
- By making these types of comments, I am apparently cheapening the experiences of the person who's talking about these topics by being a "wannabe", rather than just being me. If I do find value in something that this person is talking about, then by all means I should study it, or get involved somehow. But to act like a wannabe w/o any commitment kind of cheapens the experience. Alex was telling me that I tend to do this alot, and it embarrasses her - Nix it!
Next, while talking about a friend's emotional problems over dinner, I mentioned a type of therapy that may be helpful, based on what I've read about it, as well as a personal application of it on Alex a few years ago - It worked very well! It was EFT, emotional freedom technique. Anyway, the problem came about when I told Alex later that evening that I would like to work towards studying EFT, as well as my other interests more (psychic tools, etc) and give lectures around town for educational purposes (and some financial gain as well). This caused Alex to get quite upset with me because she realized that (1) I was limiting myself by thinking this way, and (2) My ego was getting in the way.
Starting with Ego, I guess that there are parts of me that want to feel important, to come off as an expert in something. The problem is ego - having a feeling of superiority over others. I know that I sometimes feel that way, and I recognize that it's the wrong way to be. We're all the same... We're all small people living in the same world doing our best to survive day-by-day. The other problem is fantasizing about the way things could be - A highly limiting scenario. It's limiting in the sense that although being on a speaking circuit would be cool (for the ego), there is the possiblity of low profits (sometimes due to small class turnouts). I'm not saying it right. Anyway, the point is that as a believer of Kryon's messages of being in one's sweet spot, I should live life in the NOW. In the present moment, opportunities will be appropriately revealed to each of us through life's grand synchronicities. To plan the future is to set forth a though-pattern (energy of creation) towards a limited outcome. To think otherwise would be to have the hubris of God.
One more comment on the same idea: Alex gets enraged when I say that I want to do something in the future. I.e.: Setting a future goal of giving lectures about EFT when I know very little about it. She hates when I say stuff like that. Now, If I am following my path and end up becoming very knowledgeable on the subject, then THAT would be a good time to consider lecturing, not before - because there is some amount of ego involved, as well as making financial gains w/o having full knowledge. The lesson is: stay on my path, when the opportunities reveal themselves - then go for it. Be careful of your intentions. Be humble. We're all "little" people in a big world trying to make it day by day. Live our lives to the fullest and create a partnership with God to achieve your future goals.
To find your path - follow your passions. EFT is not a passion, just a topic I'm interested in studying for self-improvement. Chinese/Energy medicine is a passion. Toastmasters is a passion. By pursuing my passions, have faith that the best path for my success/goals will be revealed. Partner with God - live in the NOW - appreciate the flow of life - Let things happen the way they should best happen. Remember Kryon's parable of the Tar Pit... live life for yourself. By being yourself, your light will naturally spread to others, without explicit intervention. If it is meant to be that you end up on the speaking circuit, let the opportunities present themselves (for good reason, like being sought-after, vs. for ego/money making). Pursue your passions.
I'm left with a feeling of confusion w.r.t. goals - How to set goals & work towards them while also being mindful of being true to yourself (w/o ego, following life's path). Also, does this set of ideas have negative implications towards explicitly having conversations with others about one's dreams and goals. Probably. I guess we should all strive to live in the NOW, the Moment, NOW. It's tough, but ultimately, thinking in this manner will bring the utmost of grand possibilities to you.
Good Night.
Tonight I had some very deep discussions with Alex, very provacative & disturbing (just to my ego). I normally log this type of stuff to my Palm, but since it's dead, this is the 2nd best place.
So, her 1st gripe was that I have big problem of 'cheapening' others' interests. If someone is speaking about something they like or they do, I tend to chime in with "I would love to do something like that", or "I'd like to do that sometime" followed by some minor uncomfortableness and ending with a final lull in the conversation.
- By making these types of comments, I am apparently cheapening the experiences of the person who's talking about these topics by being a "wannabe", rather than just being me. If I do find value in something that this person is talking about, then by all means I should study it, or get involved somehow. But to act like a wannabe w/o any commitment kind of cheapens the experience. Alex was telling me that I tend to do this alot, and it embarrasses her - Nix it!
Next, while talking about a friend's emotional problems over dinner, I mentioned a type of therapy that may be helpful, based on what I've read about it, as well as a personal application of it on Alex a few years ago - It worked very well! It was EFT, emotional freedom technique. Anyway, the problem came about when I told Alex later that evening that I would like to work towards studying EFT, as well as my other interests more (psychic tools, etc) and give lectures around town for educational purposes (and some financial gain as well). This caused Alex to get quite upset with me because she realized that (1) I was limiting myself by thinking this way, and (2) My ego was getting in the way.
Starting with Ego, I guess that there are parts of me that want to feel important, to come off as an expert in something. The problem is ego - having a feeling of superiority over others. I know that I sometimes feel that way, and I recognize that it's the wrong way to be. We're all the same... We're all small people living in the same world doing our best to survive day-by-day. The other problem is fantasizing about the way things could be - A highly limiting scenario. It's limiting in the sense that although being on a speaking circuit would be cool (for the ego), there is the possiblity of low profits (sometimes due to small class turnouts). I'm not saying it right. Anyway, the point is that as a believer of Kryon's messages of being in one's sweet spot, I should live life in the NOW. In the present moment, opportunities will be appropriately revealed to each of us through life's grand synchronicities. To plan the future is to set forth a though-pattern (energy of creation) towards a limited outcome. To think otherwise would be to have the hubris of God.
One more comment on the same idea: Alex gets enraged when I say that I want to do something in the future. I.e.: Setting a future goal of giving lectures about EFT when I know very little about it. She hates when I say stuff like that. Now, If I am following my path and end up becoming very knowledgeable on the subject, then THAT would be a good time to consider lecturing, not before - because there is some amount of ego involved, as well as making financial gains w/o having full knowledge. The lesson is: stay on my path, when the opportunities reveal themselves - then go for it. Be careful of your intentions. Be humble. We're all "little" people in a big world trying to make it day by day. Live our lives to the fullest and create a partnership with God to achieve your future goals.
To find your path - follow your passions. EFT is not a passion, just a topic I'm interested in studying for self-improvement. Chinese/Energy medicine is a passion. Toastmasters is a passion. By pursuing my passions, have faith that the best path for my success/goals will be revealed. Partner with God - live in the NOW - appreciate the flow of life - Let things happen the way they should best happen. Remember Kryon's parable of the Tar Pit... live life for yourself. By being yourself, your light will naturally spread to others, without explicit intervention. If it is meant to be that you end up on the speaking circuit, let the opportunities present themselves (for good reason, like being sought-after, vs. for ego/money making). Pursue your passions.
I'm left with a feeling of confusion w.r.t. goals - How to set goals & work towards them while also being mindful of being true to yourself (w/o ego, following life's path). Also, does this set of ideas have negative implications towards explicitly having conversations with others about one's dreams and goals. Probably. I guess we should all strive to live in the NOW, the Moment, NOW. It's tough, but ultimately, thinking in this manner will bring the utmost of grand possibilities to you.
Good Night.
